Entrepreneur’s Journey
If you are short on time and no time to read this stuff, this is a post full of failure porn, motivation porn and story of a spoiled child of modern Entreprenuership buzz, nothing else.
what is that I wanted to do?
Back in May 2015 I quite my corporate Job as a Software Engineer. There were many reasons to quit my job, it was nothing about money, it was about that I was kind of felt not respected there and I had no sense of fulfillment there. My hygiene factors was okay but by motivation factors was not okay. And I had a very bad personal relationship with my manger.
In fact I was not doing anything new, I was extremely unhappy and was wanting to create a dent in the universe. I was building OLAP Cubes, writing SQL on some production systems.
I was also doing some consulting work on the side. I was also planning for Masters in Germany. I quit my job saying I am going for Higher Studies. I applied to 7 schools in Germany for Masters in Computer Science, I had IELTS 7 and 5 years experience but I was rejected due to poor my Undergrad C-GPA.
I started working on my consulting projects. Also started to build some products on my own and some with the local investors.
Problems, Solutions, Problems
I was not focused on one thing. I started to build a SaaS ERP with a local investor with several partners. Investor was known but on the terms there were disagreements. Did not work with first partners, continued with second partner, as we were inexperienced we hired a consultant to guide us which ended up being a Pseudo-expert.
Investor was supposed to build the product by investing rather they started to sell and pay from clients payment. Payments were getting delayed and we stopped building that product. We tried with some other SaaS or E-commerce solutions that also did not work.
We started doing mostly consulting work i.e building solutions for clients from Home and Abroad. Sometimes I had fixed clients, no good developers, sometimes good developers and no fixed clients. When I had both Good developers, Fixed paying clients it worked well.
Conferencing, Vision Collision
I have applied to lots of Entreprenuership conferences. And Started to network with lots of people home and abroad, entrepreneurship community.
And found out people are mostly looking for to make some money and survive. No vision to build a brand or provide better service. Also clients were pretty same — It was a sucker game and still is, Best suckers were the winners, still is.
I had vision collision with all of the co-founders, I guess the problem was in me, I could not take them in confidence with me. I could not provide them fixed long term clients and all they wanted is to earn money. I wanted to invest money in building products, which they were not interested to do. Client deliveries hampered, developers bluffed and I lost few of my clients too, also had to leave some clients because of outrageous demands, irregular payments etc.
And I found there is an enormous amount of trust vacuum in the entire business world, no one trusts nobody, Clients does not trust developers, developers does not trust clients and so on.
Business School, Falling in love
Then in mid 2016 I started to do some HBS Online courses. Started to prepare for Business School application, also did 2 online courses then. At that time all on a sudden a broken heart fell upon me to get married with me.
Very often this broken hearts comes to marry me as I have a very good reputation as being a good guy with no relationships. I told her I do not want to take benefit of your broken heart situation. But I did a terrible mistake that I went back again to her after refusing many times.
She was throwing a lot of romantic bullshit and I fell, fell really hard. I became emotionally broke. I was also financially broke, burning my savings.
Job Search, Work Search, Volunteering
I started to look for Jobs again mostly in Project Management/Product Management, had few offers but that did not work. I started to look for Remote work or work in Upwork that also did not work that much.
In that time I was active in my volunteering work, attended few Conferences and had good time in my volunteering activities.
Travelling
I went abroad for the first time, It was in Africa. Then I traveled to Malaysia, Singapore and many states of India. I always wanted to travel and it was a good experience travelling without headache of returning back.
What I am doing now?
I started 2017 being emotionally, financially broke. I had to do a lot of hard-work.
I only met that girl 5 times, then why did I fell that badly? Then I realized I was solving a lot of family problems, professionally broken, I was looking for a shelter or place to hide.
But she never told me she will be beside or she loves me. She enabled me to become strong. She told me no-one will help you, the people you will trust will bluff in the moments you will need them. And you will get help from complete strangers — which became true.
I was weeping, fasting, walking, writing, texting her being desperate. Then I found out what the hell I am doing? Is someone has to be with me she will be with me for no reason. She just needed someone to hang out with to heal her broken heart. In the process she made me strong. The very last day we talked she also told me the same thing, You have to suffer a lot if you become so broken with such small interactions.
Actually no-one told me romantic stuff before or wanted to marry before that’s why I fell. Than I realized people just say thing out of the blue when they need something. Anyways my fault was I was not cautious but it was a learning experience to become conscious.
Family Support, Supporting Family
I took a decision out of the blue. Being the eldest son I had to support my family, serve my family members, take care of my Schizophrenic brother, mom and other things.
But during this time my mom has been beside me, including after the short romanticism experience both mentally, financially.
Brighter Side
I have rebuilt completely my heart, mind and building habits now for work. Looking for clients, work.
You can hire me at Upwork — https://www.upwork.com/freelancers/~0159c6d62f16d1cda1
Also I am doing consultancy work with my team in digital space from Development to Marketing, looking for more clients, building a client base.
When I had clients I had no team, Now I have a strong team but no continuous long term client, I am looking for clients who are looking for continuous Software Development and Digital marketing support.
Also from personal sides I would be happy to be involved in a full-time remote job. But up-work seems extremely competitive but I haven’t lost hope yet.
And In the process I am now happy —
extremely happy, In fact I was never this much happy. I have still a lot of savings to burn which I did mostly for marriage as I do not plan to marry anymore I am happy to play all in the Entreprenuership game.
After-all we all have to do what makes us happy right? And I found I was never happy this much before. I got rid of all the toxic elements from my life, walking the walk as I walk, Talking the talk as I talk.