On a scale of 1-10, rate your level of surprise about the following statement: You've been fed a load of horses*t your entire life about what it means to be successful, at least if you think success is meant to be fulfilling. Surprised? My guess is probably not.
WTF? This belief is so persistent, so why can you clearly see that it’s false? Let’s tear apart the one-size-fits-all success story (We’ll also explore ways you can rebuild your own kick-ass version.)\
You know the drill: fancy degrees, big paychecks, fancy cars, and a picture-perfect life. At a logical level, most of us know that this is a big, steaming pile of bullsh*t.
Most of us also know (at a logical level) that what we know at a logical level doesn’t necessarily mean sh*t in comparison to the sway our subconscious has over our decisions. Many people don’t believe those material sorts of things will lead to happiness, but they ultimately end up pursuing some form of them anyway. Often, it’s compulsive but “logically justifiable”... they feel like they have to—to support their family, save for retirement, afford health insurance, whatever the reason. Fall in line with the formula society gave you, and security and stability will follow.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Security and stability—in terms of human needs, they are right down there with physiological needs like food. And breathing. Things you really, reallylike.
So, when you’re fed the narrative that getting your degree, your job, your house, etc. is what will ultimately provide you the security that supports you in building out your higher-level needs like love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization, some part of your brain jumps on that train without a second thought.
Except… not only are these choices oftennot stable and secure by their nature—they are entirely outside of your control (unlike self-education, entrepreneurship, etc.), they can lead to strong feelings of dissonance that ultimately limit meeting your other *needs—*needs, not wants—in any meaningful or satisfying way.
The Success Myth
The truth is that, however smart you may be, we've all been conditioned to believe that success looks a certain way. You've got to have the big house, the corner office, the Ivy League education, and the 1.5 kids. And don't forget about the celebrity status or the millions of followers on social media.
In 2020, it took a salary of approximately
Whether or not you would actually find that lifestyle fulfilling depends on too many factors to go into in this post. Either way, you *still got the programming telling you that you would find it fulfilling.*It’s a narrative that has been passed down to you from every media source, the education system, peers, family, pretty much everywhere since the beginning of your life, at least if you’ve grown up in the US or many other first-world countries.
The result? There are a whole lot of people chasing after an illusion of success that leaves them feeling stressed, unfulfilled, and downright miserable. Even the ones who have achieved classical success find themselves dealing with impostor syndrome, feeling like they don’t deserve the success they’ve earned.
The Illusory Truth Effect: Why Society Pushes These Measures of Success and Why We Keep Listening
So, why do we keep pushing each other toward this version of success if it’s making most of us miserable? It's a complex mix of historical, economic, and social factors. When you hear information repeatedly, you begin to believe that it’s true. This is called the illusory truth effect.
The freaky part?It happens even if you know the information is bullsh*t the first time you hear it. Knowledge or smarts or logic don’t save you from this sort of programming.
One of the only ways to innoculate yourself against the perils of misinformation is through “prebunking” which exposes you to a weakened version of an argument to build resistance toward future manipulation (just like a vaccine for your body. There’s a reason we call it “going viral.”) There are some neat-o folks at the Cambridge Decision-Making Lab that have
With the illusory truth effect, you only have to hear something two or three times for it to startfeeling more real, thanks to the processing fluency that comes with familiarity. Basically, your brain says, “This bullsh*t sounds cozy and comfortable like my favorite old t-shirt, I’m just gonna roll with it.”
There are multiple studies on the illusory truth effect, with one of the
And you’ve been hearing this sh*t about success since you were a baby, and a kid, and a teen—back when you were super-duper impressionable. How many times have you heard this narrative of success across social media? Or Netflix? Or who knows how many blog posts? These ideas are reinforced often. That’s the way society is designed.
Herd Mentality, Collective Intelligence, and Capitalism's Influence on Your Perceptions of Value, Worth, and Success
🙄Before you start rolling your eyes at how f*cking pretentious that heading sounds, read on.
By “designed”, I don’t mean (or not-mean) by any particular conspiratorial Power-That-Be or The Illuminati or a great architect of The SImulation. Moreso, I mean that the perpetuation of these ideas is a product of how we have evolved at a biological level.
Herd mentality is a facet of human society just as it is in other species like sheep. According to scientists at the University of Leeds, just a
“But what’s interesting about this research is that our participants ended up making a consensus decision despite the fact that they weren’t allowed to talk or gesture to one another. In most cases the participants didn’t realize they were being led by others.”
– Professor Jens Krause of University of Leed’s Faculty of Biological Sciences
Collective intelligence isn’t inherently a bad thing. If anything, it takes some of the load off of your brain by way of “parallel distributed processing” across the collective intelligence of human society. It makes you smarter and frees up your mind’s processing power for other tasks. It’s kind of like having some of your decisions processed in the cloud by AWS hardware instead of bogging down your local machine.
Growing Up On Capitalism
Let's take a moment to talk about how growing up in a capitalist society can seriously mess with your brain's wiring when it comes to understanding value, worth, and success. Capitalism, by its very nature, is built on competition, the accumulation of wealth, and the relentless pursuit of growth. As a result, we're bombarded from a young age with messages that equate our worth and success to our ability to make money and climb the social ladder.
This constant exposure to capitalist ideals can create a mindset that prioritizes material wealth and external validation over personal growth, well-being, and meaningful connections. It's no wonder that so many of us find ourselves chasing after the traditional markers of success, even when they don't bring us happiness or fulfillment. Our brains have essentially been programmed to equate these things with value and worth, thanks to the society we live in.
But here's the good news: just because we've been socialized to think this way doesn't mean we're stuck in this mindset forever. It's possible to rewire your brain and shift your focus away from the superficial trappings of success that capitalism promotes. By challenging these ingrained beliefs and consciously choosing to prioritize your own values, passions, and well-being, you can break free from the capitalist narrative and redefine what success means to you.
Not all societies buy into these superficial and materialistic definitions of success. In many cultures around the world, success is measured by factors like strong community connections, spiritual well-being, or living a balanced life. There is no universal formula.
Recognizing the influence of capitalism on your perceptions of value, worth, and success is an essential step in taking control of your own narrative.
**Recognizing the influence of capitalism on your perceptions of value, worth, and success is an essential step in taking control of your own narrative. Don't let society's priorities dictate your life. Instead, embrace your power to redefine success on your terms, and live a life that's true to who you are and what matters most to you.
You can even hijack some of your in-born herd mentality tendencies and plug in to distributed processing that enhances your growth. It’s kind of like bridging your brain to a better, faster, more advanced blockchain network.
So, what matters then? Define “success.”
Before you start thinking that this is just a bitter rant from someone who couldn't hack it in the traditional success game, let's get one thing straight: this isn't encouragement to fall into some nihilist ennui and become ascetic toward all forms of accomplishment.
Another important point: Rejecting society's definition of success doesn't mean you lack ambition or drive.
It’s about realizing your own success metrics in a way that lets you move forward in the most effective way as your best, most authentic self.
This is about empowering you to pursue your dreams and create a life that's truly meaningful and fulfilling for you, not some cookie-cutter version of success that leaves you feeling empty and unfulfilled. It's about recognizing that there's more to life than chasing after wealth, status, and external validation, and focusing on what really matters.
Alternative Indicators of Success: Value-Creation, Meaning, Fulfillment, and Connections
Now that we've debunked the traditional measures of success and acknowledged the influence of capitalism on our perceptions, let's explore some alternative indicators that can help you create a more authentic and fulfilling life. These indicators focus on aspects such as value-creation, finding meaning, pursuing fulfillment, and cultivating connections.
Value-Creation
Instead of measuring success by the size of your paycheck or the number of material possessions you accumulate, consider focusing on the value you create in the world. This can take many forms, such as making a positive impact on the environment, contributing to social causes, or simply improving the lives of those around you. By prioritizing value-creation, you'll find a deeper sense of purpose and satisfaction in your life.
Finding Meaning
Another alternative indicator of success is the pursuit of meaning. This involves seeking activities and experiences that resonate with your core values and provide a sense of purpose. Whether it's through your career, volunteering, or personal hobbies, finding meaning in your life can lead to greater happiness and fulfillment.
Pursuing Fulfillment
Fulfillment goes beyond the fleeting moments of happiness that come with achieving traditional measures of success. It's about living a life that's in alignment with your values, passions, and personal growth. By focusing on the pursuit of fulfillment as a measure of success, you'll cultivate a sense of satisfaction and contentment that lasts.
Cultivating Connections
Strong relationships and social connections are essential for our well-being and can serve as powerful indicators of success. Building and maintaining meaningful connections with others can lead to a more rewarding and fulfilling life. Prioritize nurturing relationships with family, friends, and colleagues, and engage in activities that foster a sense of community and belonging.
Personal Growth and Self-Improvement
Another alternative indicator of success is personal growth and self-improvement. This involves continuously learning, evolving, and becoming the best version of yourself. By committing to personal development and embracing a growth mindset, you'll find greater satisfaction in your life and enjoy the journey toward your own version of success.
By shifting your focus to these alternative indicators of success, you'll create a life that's more aligned with your values, passions, and well-being. Ultimately, success is a deeply personal and subjective concept, and it's up to you to define what it means for you (including whether or not it contains any of the above alternative metrics). Embrace the power to create your own path, and remember that genuine success lies in living a life that's true to who you are and what matters most to you.
F*ck This Sh*t. You Do You.
It's time to kick the traditional definition of success out of your mind and start living life on your terms. Embrace your uniqueness, follow your passions, and create your own kickass version of success. Remember, you don't have to buy into the hype or let society dictate what your life should look like. You're the one in control, so own your power, challenge the status quo, and live a life that's true to who you are.
The world is yours, and it's high time you stopped giving a sh*t about what other people think success should look like.
Ready to embrace your potential? Click here and see if this vibes with you. If it does, your tribe might be just around the bend.
ELI5 TL;DR - ChatGPT Edition:
Society often tells us that success means having a fancy degree, high-paying job, and lots of material possessions. But this idea of success doesn't make most people happy or fulfilled. It's important to recognize that we've been influenced by capitalism and other factors, and that we can choose our own definition of success. Instead of chasing wealth and status, consider focusing on creating value, finding meaning, pursuing fulfillment, and building connections. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what success means for you and live a life that's true to who you are.
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