Photo source: a training session during Nike NYC Project Moonshot in 2019

Over the past few years, I have been pursuing the answer for the purpose of my life. I am a purpose-driven person at work. Finding a purpose for work is much easier, especially as I have been working for mission-driven startups. So it's mind-boggling for me not to be able to find a purpose for my life.

Recently, I came across a book - Die with Zero. The premise of the book is about investing resources in experiences. People unlock something called memory dividends. Experiences yield dividends because humans have memory. Fulfilled moments of life create memories. Traditionally, people invest resources in increasing their monetary net worth until they stop working and then become afraid or unable even to enjoy it.

After reading this book, I realized my recent years had unintentionally focused more on optimizing my time for fulfillment, even more so in 2021 and 2022. As a result, I have been happier and more driven. So why do I waste time figuring out the purpose of my life rather than living every moment as fulfilling as possible? Living a fulfilled life is the source of happiness. According to the Dalai lama, the purpose of life is to be happy.

How have I lived in 2021 and 2022?

In the summer of 2021, I left my previous job for an opportunity that was fulfilling but, at the time, might be risky while closing the deal on my current apartment. I was very uncertain and terrified of both decisions, but I managed to close the deal, start a new job, renovate and move into my new apartment while training for the October Boston Marathon race, all in the 2nd half year of 2021. I survived. It gave me more confidence to live an even more fulfilling and fearless 2022 by starting a writing project, as I have always been not confident about writing; by practicing triathlon, as I was terrified of deep water and open water swimming; and by exploring entrepreneurship as it has been my dream. At this point in 2022, I published ten articles on Hackernoon, two of which were the top story of the day, won the contributor of the year in the leadership, women-in-tech and advertising categories, completed an Ironman 70.3 in Oct, and started to explore entrepreneurship for a fueling problem I discovered while training for the Ironman race. It all began with the desire to live a fulfilling year by conquering things I feared.

A life-threatening experience in 2022

Hurricane Ian swept through the east coast from September 29 - October 3, 2022. During that time, the weather was stormy in NYC. My swim buddy talked me into swimming that Saturday morning on October 1 as he thought the water condition should be alright. When we arrived, it was just two of us at the beach, and we decided to swim for a short time. However, my buddy got out of the water earlier because he was cold and thought I would be alright. Unfortunately, I could not see him and got worried, so I looked for him in the water without realizing the current was pushing me further away from the shore. When I realized I was far from the shore, the visibility was terrible due to the rain, and everything looked unfamiliar. I tried to swim toward the shore but could not move an inch for about 5 - 6 mins because the current was dragging me back. I panicked and felt my heart rate went through the roof as I felt helpless and cold. One experienced swimmer once told me the worst thing in the water is to panic, so I tried to calm myself down. However, I felt so close to death. While alone in the ocean, I thought about dreams I hadn't fulfilled and my mom. I felt sad if I had died unfulfilled that day. "Today is not my day to die," I told myself repeatedly, so I swam harder and faster. Suddenly, a few big waves pushed me toward the shore. I kept swimming until I touched the sand. I survived. This experience did not keep me away from open-water swimming but made me realize I have to live every day like it's the last. I almost had the last day of my life on October 1, 2022. This experience fires me up for 2023.

Looking ahead of 2023

I have a few projects line up for 2023. The projects are big enough to create many self-doubt moments in me. However, I rather live my life trying to make things happen than regret not doing something that fulfills me. Of course, nothing is guaranteed, but anything is possible if I try.