Pizza B4U Order is Seeking a Web Developer

Written by erellsworth | Published 2018/01/19
Tech Story Tags: humor | satire | job-hunting | web-development | work

TLDRvia the TL;DR App

Pizza B4U Order is excited to announce we are currently seeking a Web Developer! This is an exciting opportunity for the right person. We are the premier precognition-based pizza delivery service in the Phoenix metro area. Work for one of the most exciting companies in food service industry! Exciting!

Job description:

At Pizza B4U Order we are dedicated to bringing our delicious pizza to unsuspecting customers before they order it. We expect you to share in that passion while maintaining our customer portal, enterprise level mobile app and other related technologies. 60 hours per week, flexible schedule, Sundays and Christmas off*!

REQUIRED qualifications:

15+ years PHP development experienceWordPress expert, including creating and editing plugins and themes10+ years React.js/Vue/Ember/AngularSolid understanding of astral projectionEcommerce experienceRuby on RailsASP.netSolid understanding of the physics of dowsingjQuery with MySQL and HTML5

Preferred:

SEO knowledgeExperience with integrating Amazon Web ServicesSome level of psychic ability or aptitude**Email marketing experienceSpirit photography

Pizza B4U Order is a great place to work! We have a ping pong table in our break room*** and a fridge stocked with nothing but HEY! High-Fiber Citrus Energy Drink! We’re young and hip and expect you to be as well. We want excitement and energy so no olds pls! Special consideration will be given to former Psychic Taco employees.

*unpaid

**We will have you evaluated by a professional psychic at no charge.

***Ping pong table availability varies. Sometimes people want to eat their lunch at the table. It’s the only table.

Salary is competitive (starting at $35k/year!) and based on experience.

Local candidates only.

No recruiters please.

To apply, please visit blacksuitofdeath.com/pizza-b4u-order-jobs


Published by HackerNoon on 2018/01/19