So many people believe that in order to be a likeable person, they need some form of super power that only a few a privy to. They believe that the privilege of being liked is only given to a a select few and that they themselves will never possess such a skill.
I am here to tell you, that this is completely incorrect and is 100% not the case.
Each and every one of us are incredibly special for who we are. We have everything inside of us that we need to be liked, and then some. It is only a case of gaining the knowledge necessary in order to understand how we all may unlock our inner self and become the most likable person we know, i.e. yourself!
You won’t believe how easy it is.
All likable people…
Use Positive Body Language
So let’s imagine a scenario… you meet a group of friends at the weekend for a get-together and they have each brought a friend or two of their own, whom you have never met before.
So what do you do? Should you simply acknowledge their presence but turn to your friends and talk to them instead? Certainly not. In fact you should just smile and say hello to your friends, but place themajority of your attention to the people whom you do not know, at least for a period of time. Stand in a neutral but interested stance towards them. Smile at them and greet them with a handshake. Say hello, and ask them how they are…. Go out of your way to make them feel comfortable with your presence.
As a result, you will be enriched by their presence, and they by yours.
Ask Thought-Provoking Questions
The conversation you inevitably spark up is flowing and everything is great. And then it comes their turn to speak. NOW, you must ensure that you not only listen to what they have to say but you also ask questions about what they are saying.
‘Oh, sounds like you had a great holiday in Dubai, what was the food like?’, ‘I really like action movies too, who’s your favourite action star?’ or ‘Wow, doing a part time master’s is really admirable. Do you have any tips of what courses I could do for gaining experience in Computer Science & Business?’.
Be Genuinely Interested
Not only is it important to listen to what they have to say, but to be genuinely interested in what they are saying. Most of the time a person you just met will do their best to say things they think you will be interested in. It is your job to appreciate the fact that the person you are speaking with, may be trying really hard to impress you or just be friends with you. Don’t make it hard on them, help them to help you to like them!
Pay special attention to everything they say with open ears, and respond accordingly. And if all else fails, you can simply wait for your turn to speak, and gently change the conversation to something more along the lines of your interests!
Smiles Are Contagious
So you guys are having a great chat. You are really enjoying each other’s company and you really like where the conversation is going. Smile. Smile like you never smiled before. A simple smile offer’s re-assurance to whomever you are speaking with. Not only that but it makes you feel more comfortable with the current situation, allowing more creative juices to flow which in turn sparks a more meaningful conversation.
Plus if you are not actually really enjoying what’s being said, just smile anyway. I guarantee that, after a few minutes, you will feel more keen about the conversation at hand.
Don’t Ever Pass Judgement
Sometimes it’s easy to jump to conclusions about someone you just met. They seem to be cool, but they then say something like ‘Yeah I thought she was my best friend, but then she got married and we don’t speak anymore. I hate her now.’ or ‘Paul from work is a real pain, he’s always talking rubbish and is terrible at his job’, you think that they may actually be a terror inside. The fact is, you really don’t know the person they are talking about, and even if you do, you still don’t know that person from their perspective.
Try to never ‘judge a book by its cover’. When they complain about something, simply be sympathetic. Take it with a grain of salt and move one. It is better to be friendly and supportive than to be distant and judgemental. They will come around to your thinking in time.
Pay Attention To Every Word
When in the depths of a conversation, you can easily kill it’s flow by not paying attention. Simply taking out your phone when someone else is speaking to you can disrupt what they are saying or cause them to loose their chain of thought as they wonder… ‘why is he/she not paying attention, am I boring or something?’.
Let’s be honest here, you would like to be listened to when you speak out loud. So you should treat others the way you want to be treated.
Don’t Seek Attention
Quite a lot of people are unfavourable to hearing other’s boast about their accomplishments. Whether it be past, present or future. Not only does it show you are more selfish and prefer talking about yourself, but it alerts other’s to the fact that you may not want to hear what they have to say at all.
Instead, hold a genuine conversation. Ask other’s about their interests, and eventually their thought on a particular topic. Once they have said their piece and you have given a genuine response, you can then tell them about what sort of action you have taken on the particular area or what activities of note you have been involved in.
Leave A Strong First Impression
All of the above will no doubt help you in ensuring you leave a strong first impression with the people you have just met and have spent a conversation with. It is nice to be remembered and everyone likes to be liked & remembered. That is the important point here.
Take the time to say good bye in a genuine way. Use whatever medium you can (speech, expression, action) to portray to them that you have enjoyed their company and found what they had to say quite interesting.
You may even go so far as to arrange another meeting or express interest in it.
Greet Everyone By Name
The best thing you can do to make someone feel pride in themselves and an interest in you or what you will say next, is by greeting them by their name. Quite a simple concept yet it is usually over looked. Whether it is your closest friend or someone you barely know, always greet them by their name.
Now this may be more easily said than done in some cases, especially when you meet a lot of new faces on a regular basis, however that just enforces the results when you strive to remember each and everyones name. They will respect you for it, and they will in turn, remember your name too.
Bringing Everything Together
I guarantee that you have felt, been in or hear of at least some of the topics and situations described above. It is impossible for any of us to adhere to or respond perfectly to all of the situations described. We are only humans. However as human beings, we have the innate ability to learn, to overcome our short-comings and to better ourselves each and every day.
Simply put, when you are aware of the habits that cause people to like you, you are far more likely to follow them to the best of your ability.
Here’s to us, and our quest to become the most likeable person on the planet.